Spring, A Time of Renewal

Photo: ombites

The season of rebirth, renewal and re-growth is my favourite time of year. Sydney becomes alive again as the days grow longer and the smell of jasmine is everywhere. It's also my birthday month so it's always a time I reflect on what has passed and make a promise to myself for the following year. Unfortunately, the year has been filled with a whole lot of self-doubt and holding back.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my formal studies in Nutritional Medicine and my personal studies in yoga. Yoga has been the stronger pull for both good and bad reasons. I became disillusioned with my formal studies and the college I attend after a couple of personal set backs so I took a term break, and then another break. I ended up transferring all my night class subjects to distance but when it came time for the exams in August, I withdrew from them all. I didn't feel like I was being honest with myself. I still want to be a Nutritionist but I need to re-ignite that fire and accept the way things are at the college. I can’t change the situation but I need to be able to change they way I react to it all, and stop using it as an excuse.

I also often get asked where I teach yoga so they can take my class. I’m not a teacher and really didn’t think that I was ready to become a teacher this soon but now the seeds have been planted and they want to grow. I still believe that to be a teacher I need a lot more experience and discipline under my belt (I always had 10 years personal practice as a minimum to even consider it) but I think I‘m ready to at least do the teacher training to see how ready I really am. For a bit of background, I tried my first yoga class in 2005 but had been dabbling with yoga DVDs in my lounge room since 2001. I will forever be a student but to be able to inspire and help others uplift their own lives is my dream.

I am now totally committed to a Jivamukti method practice. It is one of the nine internationally recognised styles of hatha yoga based on these five tenets:

• Scripture - exploration of the foundational texts of yoga
• Bhakti - cultivation of devotion and humility
• Ahimsa - peaceful lifestyle that emphasizes the integration of ethical vegetarianism
• Nada Yoga - deep listening, chanting, elevated music
• Meditation - connecting to inner stillness and understanding the mechanics of the mind

It’s important for me to believe and finally realise that I really can do both, be a Nutritionist and Yoga Teacher, after debating with myself the last couple of months. I thought I would have to give up one or the other so there’s been a lot of critical thinking going on to work myself out.

I still need to honour my full-time job in media however. I work as a Stills Co-ordinator (Publicity) in television and this is not something I can walk away from for another couple of years. I have debts to pay off and I need to pay for my studies. I don’t want to rely on anyone to help me financially. People have achieved so much more on less so this is especially where the discipline and commitment come in for me.

Remember the 101 in 1001 list I drafted up at the beginning of the year? Gone, poof. It was a list that didn’t have a lot of substance. Here is my new list with my real goals. These are the big goals with lots of room to breathe and focus. I’ve never felt clearer.

• 2011 – Samadhi Yoga Teacher Training in Sydney
• 2012 – Jivamukti Yoga Teacher Training in New York
• 2012/3 – Finish Nutritional Medicine Qualification

This month’s Jivamukti Focus of the Month is Daily Asana Practice. Timely.

tivra-samveganam-asannah
Patanjali Yoga Sutra I.21
The highest yogic results will come quickly to those who practice intensely.

A big shout out to some of the gorgeous women in my life who have taken the plunge recently to follow their dreams. You are a continual inspiration to me:

• Jo, Live Love Hoop
• Melita, Gussying Up the Tuttle
• Nadine, A Composed Life
• Philippa, Green Ink
• Rachel, Surburban Yogini
• Stella, Shiny Yoga