True Inspiration

Nadine, thank you so much for posting this on your blog. I want to pass it on also - Aimee Mullins: a conversation about potential.

Self Awareness is the Boobie Prize!

One of my favourite people in blogland, iDiet, has written a fantastic post about self awareness - click here. Don't let your self awareness be your excuse for bad behaviour.

Guru Mantra

My Jivamukti teacher is back and what a force. For all my yogi friends in Sydney (or even visiting Sydney), if you get a chance, get yourself to a Jivamukti class with Sarah Trestrail. I always come out of her class renewed, inspired, challenged both mentally and physically, and a whole lot more.

This month's Jivamukti focus is Guru Mantra. We began and finished our class with this chant. I still stumble on the language when doing call and response but I love being in a room full of people chanting together. It does seem a little cultish to me at times but I do enjoy the spiritual aspect to yoga because it fits in with my own beliefs of revering the earth *yadda, yadda*. It's not religious though and you can take it or leave it and not everyone chants. I don't always join in either but when I do, I somehow feel so much more chilled and more connected.

My teacher today was saying along the lines that guru can mean anything in our lives and does not even have to be human. She broke her back which stopped her from doing anything high impact years ago (eg. competition horse riding) and that was a teacher in itself for her. There are teachers all around us and they are not necessarily in the formal sense. Our friends, our pets, the mailman, the bum on the corner, "mini-breakdowns" - they all teach us things.

Guru Brahma
Guru Vishnu
Guru Devo Maheshwara
Guru Sak Shat
Param Brahma
Tash Mayi Shri Guruvay Namaha

Our creation is that Guru,
The duration of our lives is that Guru,
Our trials and the death of the body is that Guru,
There is a Guru that is near by,
And a Guru that is beyond the beyond.
I offer all of my efforts to the Guru...

Edge of the Moon

I feel a little embarrassed leaving my mini-breakdown post up now but you guys are unreal and were so supportive that I can't delete it now. It really is amazing how we can all touch each other with words of support, kindness and so much love through this blogging medium. I am much better, thanks guys.

My bad days never last. I know I have an easy life and any stress is only caused by me and how I choose to react to any given situation. I live in Australia. I have a beautiful family who are always there for me, gorgeous partner who sees me at my worst and my best, and unreal friends who are an eclectic and generous bunch of people. I have a job and I have access to so many opportunities. I have absolutely no reason to complain about my lot in life. I have choices and I can choose which path to take, always. I almost feel like a spoilt brat when I freak out because I then remember all the people in the world that make do with much less than me and who are in situations that really are unbelievably sad and unjust. It's all about perspective really and that's my personal rant for the morning directed at me and my situation only, no one else ... so moving on.

I took it to the mat this morning and had a strong practice. I had a new teacher who I have never had before (kundalini) and really enjoyed her class. Also because she played some Xavier Rudd - another Australian musician I adore.

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend and goes to their "edge of the moon"!

"Here we go to the edge of the moon
We are blinded for now by the goodness of groove..."

Edge of the Moon, Xavier Rudd

I've been told!

Love you long time Skinny Latte, thank you for the love and some good old Aussie humour. I needed a night to have a melt down so I can get straight back to reality - harden the f*ck up! Too funny *mwah*.

Snap!

break⋅down [breyk-doun]
–noun

1. a breaking down, wearing out, or sudden loss of ability to function efficiently, as of a machine.
2. a loss of mental or physical health; collapse.

I think this pretty much sums up my day and current state. I stuffed up my exam on Tuesday and I keep stuffing up at work. I have another exam on Monday. I am a touch sensitive right now. The joys of being an emotional wreck every fourth week of the month. I should go to sleep. Things are always better in the morning. It will be a new day and ... bad days never last.

Oh, to be able to just disappear for a couple of weeks and not have to take responsibility for a single god damn thing. Sometimes it sucks being a grown up.

PS. That big fat chocolate brownie sucked arse. I should have just gone for a run or found someone to box with instead.

"When I'm lyin in my bed at night
I don't wanna grow up..." Tom Waits

Study Sounds

I've taken an annual leave day today to study for my Biochemistry exam tonight. Not very confident but I'll try my best.

The college I go to have cut a lot of costs and I'm afraid that includes the quality of the education I am paying for. You would be shocked if you saw the state of the Biochemistry workbook that was handed out at the beginning of term. It clearly hasn't been updated since 1999. Ah, we are now in 2009, right? It's a real mish mash of info and the lecturer is having a real hard time presenting it to us as well. Not quite sure if I should swap colleges yet but I'm definitely not impressed. It's not all bad but for a subject like Biochemistry, I realise the subject matter isn't going to change much in 10 years, the delivery sure as hell should.

So why am I blogging and not studying? I'm still recovering from a kick-arse workout this morning with my trainer. It was tough but I'm feeling alive. I've also just had a shower listening to my music loud, wish I could do this every morning, and now just trying to settle down.

I posted this track a couple of posts ago but then deleted it. I do love it though and I know so many of us can relate to it so here it is again.

Used To Get High, John Butler

"I used to get high for a living
Believing everything that i saw on my tv
I used to get high for a living
Eating all the bullshit food that they sold me
I used to get high for a living
Thinking that my destiny was out of my control
I used to get high for a living
There's lots of different reasons and i'll tell you so"

Happy Mardi Gras Sydney

HAPPY MARDI GRAS SYDNEY

To love, light, laughter and equal rights for all regardless 

of skin colour, race, gender or who you f*ck. Seriously.

More info - click here.

Within me, an invincible summer

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

I adore Albert Camus' work and my gorgeous friend Ally, and fellow yogi, had this quote at the end of one of her emails to me. I wanted to share it because it reminds me of the prana within us, our life source that we focus on and celebrate in yoga. Whenever I do a sun salutation, I always feel the warmth. Corny, right? Ha!

The past week has been good but towards the end of the week I got tired so I ditched one of my classes. It's not a habit I want to form but I really needed a night off. I have a mid-term exam next week so the pressure is building as well. I've learned that being kind to myself by backing off when I need to is far more beneficial than pushing through at times. But in saying this, I need to differentiate between really needing a break as opposed to just being lazy.

Exercise wise, I'm getting fitter and stronger and loving that feeling. Weight wise though there's not much change but I can see the change in my figure and the way my clothes sit. I'm not too fussed about it. I have my goal but I've also got to be realistic. I ate some crap this week so it's no surprise I didn't lose. Not going to get angry or upset about it.

Goal Weight: 75-70kg (my 5kg buffer)
Last Week: 77.3kg
This Week: 77.7kg
Gain this week: .4kg

In other news, we booked a weekend getaway for our anniversary this year in Byron Bay - The Garden Burees. Something to look forward to and I seriously can't wait. It's across from The Arts Factory which is renowned for being a great spot for the backpackers and bohemians alike. There'll be no international travel this year so I'm glad we're still going to do something special and explore something new again. It's too easy to just keep doing the same things and go to the same places.

Off again...

Inspiration: Quote

Through repetition the magic will be forced to rise.
- Alchemical Precept