March Flies

I thought I better update while I have the chance. March is going to be another busy month for me but busy is good. It makes me focus less on my own shit.

In eating news, I'm still doing well (even considering a spectacular cheddar and brie cheese fix on Saturday) and following the principles of my detox. I think doing the detox was the best thing I ever did. I feel liberated. I very rarely have dairy, caffeine and meat in my diet now. I still use the detox menu as a guide and my old WW recipes but no more counting points or calories. I'm still amazed at how little my body actually needs to function but of course it helps when I'm eating wholefoods (no supplements!) and not adding any crap. These past few weeks have seen a real change in my whole approach to food.

In yoga news, I'm doing another 30 day yoga challenge in March. My aim is to get up at 5am every morning (except weekends, then it's 6.30am) and do a yoga session before work. It's going to be a little tough some days but I reckon for the most part, it will be mind over matter and I know how good I am going to feel. I get up at 5.30am most mornings anyway so it's not really a huge change for me. I'll try to go to bed by 10pm though so I don't become a zombie.

I'm also going to do a "Introduction to Ayurveda" course this month. I really don't know much about it but it seems to be a sister practice to yoga. Should be interesting!

In work news, I need a severe attitude re-adjustment. I usually leave a company when I get the shits but this time I am going to stick it out and get over myself. Work's work. Just do it, pay my bills and focus on all the good stuff. With the travel, I'm just going to read more and I do need to read more.

And social news, that's private but having fun. Less time to blog though or maybe I just don't want to right now.

Alrighty...off again.

Books 2007

I thought it was about time I kept a journal of all the books I have read and am reading (not including yoga books). I don't hold onto books unless they really mean something to me, opting to donate them to the library (or friend) when read instead. This also means that the memory of them can unfortunately be lost, unless I document it.

To kick off 2007, I am reading:

JANUARY

The History of Love
by Nicole Krauss

So far, the heaviness in my heart when reading this book begs for me to have more time to read it in one sitting. Definitely not a book I can read while taking a toilet break...now that I'm finished, I'm blown away with the simplicity yet the depth in each character that she allows the reader to become involved in. I felt for every single character and the ending got my heart pumping and made me cry, on a bus. There is lots of laughter along the way though!

Love in the Time of Cholera
by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

This book seems to stumble in it's rhythm, flow of words but it makes me laugh out loud. So far I have encountered 3 types of love which remind me of people that I know and my own loves. It has taken me 2 years to be able to actually sit down and read this. Not something I am able to just pick up for enjoyment though as I find it cumbersome but it's perfect for the commute to work of a morning. I have not finished reading this book. I am half way through but have put it aside for now.

FEBRUARY

Holy Cow: An Indian Adventure

by Sarah Macdonald (Australian)

I really enjoyed Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and reading Holy Cow by Sarah Macdonald brought back a similar raw and gutsy read into her own spiritual journey but on a much more broader and deeper level.

It is highly irreverant and hilarious but she is able to bring herself back down to earth to look at what she is witnessing and put it in perspective. She comes to appreciate things for what they are. Great read and certainly not sugar coated!

Here is one of the gems I underlined in the book:

"We Indian people, we look at the people more poor, more low, more hard than us and we be thanking God we are not them. So we are happy. But you white peoples, you are looking at the peoples above you all the times and you are thinking, why aren't I be them? Why am I not having the moneys and things? And so you are unhappy all the time."

Zoofari Times

I thought I better write a quick post about our weekend away before it becomes another distant memory!

Dan and I had such a great time. We went to Western Plain Zoo's in Dubbo NSW and stayed overnight at the Zoofari Lodge - www.zoofari.com.au.

There was a group of 34 people staying at the lodge this night of the weekend and we were given 3 private "behind the scenes" tours over two days which included feeding the animals. Of course it pissed down on the first night but in classic Dubbo style, and actually unusual for them to even get any rain, it went as quickly as it came.

After the tours the next day and checking out of the lodge, we were then allowed free range to visit the animals when they were out of their "night/feeding pens" and on exhibit. We tried to get a cart but neither of us had a license so we got ourselves a couple of bikes and started to explore the zoo for ourselves.

An absolute AWESOME experience and what an education. I didn't realise just how much conservation work our Zoos do, how many animals they actually do have and how many are NOT on exhibit. Brilliant. I highly recommend going and doing the Zoofari too.

We did lots, saw lots, learned a hell of a lot about conservation and really felt like we were on holiday. You should have seen me when I came back to Sydney though, not happy. I felt tense straight away. I can see myself having more weekends away like this now.

Here are some more photos from our trip - click here.
For Dan's much more entertaining account - click here.

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

Dr Seuss

** the hazards of my job is that I end up watching a lot of Foxtel during the day. I was watching the last episode of Love My Way - Series 2 and they quoted Dr Seuss at a really poignant moment today. Thought it was a goody!

Catch up...

Sorry guys, it's been a hugely busy week for me. I haven't had a chance to read/comment on all the amazing posts and emails this week and sadly, I won't until next week. We're off for a mini holiday first thing so catch you when we get back.

If It Be Thy Will

Oh my goodness, this is what I woke up to this morning. A heart of leaves surrounding my mp3 player. I was a bit hesitant to listen because I'm feeling a little sick but I'm sitting here now listening to the most amazing rendition of "If It Be Thy Will" originally sung by the brilliant Leonard Cohen. This version is sung by Antony (from Antony and the Johnsons) and I am in tears! Antony has the most beautiful angelic voice I have ever heard, so so pure, and this song means a lot to me. I've had a few dark years when first moving out of home and this song got me through a lot of difficult times. Music, gotta love the power of it and I am so happy there are people out there to make it for us and someone like Dan to share it with me *mwah*.

Want to listen? Click here.

HAPPY V DAY!

Short Tales

Yep, got it cut again. I think I'm addicted! It's quite a lot shorter and I can't even tie it up now. Pretty amazing feeling of freedom. I always wanted a variation of a "goth bob" but now Posh Spice has made it fashionable. I want to make it quite clear that goths were doing it way before her and looking hotter LOL.

When I was a big girl, I always thought that by keeping my hair long, it would hide how truly fat I was. Especially the rolls on my back. Looking back at the photos though, it just made me look more frumpy. Loving short hair and why I feel free is not only because of the physical but the mental crap I've let go of as well.

But damn, how hard is it to take a photo of yourself! Dan's out with a mate. I should have asked Nick to take a photo of his crafty work. I haven't ditched my usual hairdresser but Nick lives/works on my street and I needed a quick fix. He's a good guy and damn fine hairstylist.

The Sound of Om

Om (a-u-m) is a mantra, or vibration, that is traditionally chanted at the beginning and at the end of a yoga practice. It symbolises the rhythm of the universe and in turn allows us to listen to our own rhythm in connection to it. There is nothing more beautiful than being in a class and chanting OM together. It sounds powerful, calming, grounding.

I've always been too shy to chant OM but on Sunday I finally felt the need to contribute. There is absolutely no pressure to chant aloud so I always chanted in my head but Sunday was different. It kind of helped me feel like the intention for my practice that day was more defined, more grounded and more connected. I like how things come to you when you're ready in yoga and it makes it all feel that much more meaningful.

With your eyes closed, either sit crossed legged, in a half lotus (1 leg up) or lotus position with your hands facing up on your knees or in your lap. Breathe in 1-2-3-4, then as you breathe out chant OM. Do this 1-3 times. Feel the connection. I love the idea of thinking about how many people are chanting OM at that very moment right across the world. Magic.

Finding Your Drishti

Phil asked me the other day how my yoga was going and I said that this is the year that I find out if I'm serious about it to which she responded that this is the year to find out if she's serious about her writing as well. It's exciting when you get to a point and decide you're going to do whatever it is and give it your best shot. We both did that with our weight and succeeded. If we can do that and overcome so much physically and mentally, I truly believe we can do this too.

Edit: Do I want to be a teacher? Maybe one day, after several years of solid practice but not right now. I have so much to learn and experience. I have a dream to one day open up a yoga wares and book shop, cafe and/or studio combined though! We'll see.

My partner Dan has been such a great support and inspiration as well. The way he approaches his own writing with such discipline and courage is truly amazing. It's awesome to be surrounded by people who aspire to do so much more than doing something that is simply "good enough".

I am going to try to practice everyday, even if I just meditate, learn as much as I can from all the books that are available (directed self study) and go to as many different classes as I can afford. My aim is to go to Shiva Rea's Yoga Retreat in Kerala, South India by the end of the year and when the time comes around, I'll know if I'm truly ready.

I think going to India will be a challenge in itself because I have never travelled. I'll be reading up as much as I can about India also so I get a feel for the way of life, culture, politics etc. I don't want to be an ignorant traveller. If anyone has been to India and especially for a yoga retreat, I'd love to hear from you.

I was hoping to go to Donna Farhi's workshop in March but my funds are limited after having bought a laptop last year and a much needed fridge more recently. This means our trip to New York is also postponed. Notice I said postponed? Yep, this is the year to save for all these things too and be more mindful with my money.

Just a warning, my blog is obviously focusing a lot more on my yoga journey these days. I hope I don't bore you!

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it." ~Buddha

Spicy Lentil Patties

This recipe is quick, easy and tasty. Very filling though!

SPICY LENTIL PATTIES
Points: 2.5
Serves: 4
Prep Time: 15 mins
Cook Time: 25 mins

INGREDIENTS

• canola oil spray
• 4 individual spring onions, ends trimmed, chopped
• 2 clove garlic, crushed
• 5g (1 tsp) ginger, finely grated
• 1 whole fresh red chilli, deseeded, finely chopped
• 20g (2 tbsp) fresh coriander, chopped
  
• 1tsp ground cumin seed
• 400g canned chickpeas, rinsed, drained
• 300g lentils (green or brown), rinsed, drained *I used canned
  
• 100g fresh rocket leaves (or mixed salad leaves)
  

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 190°C
   
2. Heat a non-stick frying pan over medium heat. Spray with oil. Add spring onions, garlic, ginger and chilli. Cook, stirring until softened, about 5 minutes. Add coriander and cumin and stir. Transfer to a bowl to cool.
   
3. Place mixture in bowl of food processor or blender. Add chickpeas and lentils and process until combined but not too smooth. Transfer to a bowl. Taste and season with salt and pepper. Shape mixture into four patties.
   
4. Place patties on a baking tray and bake in oven for 15-20 minutes or until golden and cooked through. Serve with salad leaves.
   

Source: Weight Watchers Australia

Just Do It

So it goes something like this...."I'm not going to waste an hour talking to you about why you don't want to do something but if you want to do it, I'm here for you 110%". I've definitely misquoted but I think you'll get the general gist of what Jillian was saying on The Biggest Loser tonight. That's what she's there for. For the people that have received an opportunity of a lifetime and really want to be there.

If you want it bad enough, you'll do it and get the support you need. I didn't feel sorry for Sarah. I felt sorry for all the people that really want to lose weight bad enough, having applied to get on the show and missing out. I know all the mental shit that's involved with losing weight because I've been there.

Man, just get over yourself and do it. Stop complaining about it, stop analysing it and just do it. Someone said that to me and it got me started. Thankfully I didn't give up because where I am now in my life is pure magic. Who would have thought this once cynical goth chick could be so damn happy!

UPDATE

I was just saying to M that having said all this, I obviously don't really know her or what her life is like. It's not easy in the beginning but I believe it does get easier if you push through the negative rhetoric you serve to yourself on a daily basis. M made a good point of saying that some people have more serious issues of why they are overweight to which both M and my own reasons may seem inane but yes...it is a TV show after all and she did enter.

The Fire Within

I was burning up today and it wasn't for love. I have a colleague at work that frustrates me no end and as soon as I see her name in an email or on the phone display, I tense up. Every single dealing I have ever had with her has been painful and today was no exception. She always involves several other people when the solution is quite simple so there is a running joke amongst many of our fellow colleagues but it's not so much "ha-ha" but "oh, for fuck's sake!".

I try to be as pleasant as I can be but at all costs I try to avoid dealing with her as much as possible also. Whenever I get like this I end up feeling guilty. I very RARELY not get on with a colleague and can always find common ground. I'd like to think that I'm a fairly easy going person. It's work after all so there's your common ground straight away. But not with this chick.

So why am I writing about this? I need to change the way I react to people like this that will come into my life and who I will have to work with. I'm sure she is a wonderful person but not to work with, far from it. I also know that I can't change her. I can only change the way I react to her. She's not going anywhere. I could be going somewhere else but maybe I would like to stay so then I will need to work this out. I don't want to go home feeling stressed and guilty whenever I have the displeasure of having to deal with her antics. And sadly, my compassion came a little late today. I was gobsmacked first, then angry to the point of putting fuel on the fire (started bitching) and then felt guilty once the compassion kicked in.

Something to work on...but how much easier would it be to just blow her brains out? (**remember I live with a Crime Writer so this kind of thing balances well with my yoga don't you think LOL)

PS. Oh and did you notice, M's back and firing! Go check out her cool new blog - click here.

PPS. Sorry for being crap at commenting this week! I'll catch up with everyone over the weekend.

PPPS. Jadey has organised an early morning walk and brekky at Palm Beach in Sydney for Saturday 17th February. Dan and I will be in Dubbo though, damn it! Go check out her blog if you can make it - click here.

February Exercise

"Give yourself about 15 to 30 minutes a day to practice. If you don't have 15 to 30 minutes a day, try 10 to 15 minutes a day. If you can't find 10 minutes a day, you know you have no interest." Kevin Farrow, The Natural Alchemist

* subject to change depending on circumstance and what I feel like doing

WEEK 1
Sat 3 - 75 min samadhi yoga (AM)
**awesome class and I pushed through this week and proved to myself that I can do this! Today's meditation was about FEAR and I was having none of that. I surprised myself by going into poses a little deeper than I normally would.
Sun 4 - 75 min samadhi yoga (AM)
Mon 5 - 60 min walk (PM)
Tue 6 - 30 min walk (AM)
Wed 7 - 45 min shakti yoga (AM)
Thu 8 - rest day
Fri 9 - 30 min walk (AM)

WEEK 2
Sat 10 - 30 min walk, 75 min samadhi yoga (AM)
**this morning's class was really tough again for me. I almost started crying. I had some hardcore negativity coming out of me that I need to work through.
Sun 11 - 75 min samadhi yoga (AM)
**this was the first time I participated in chanting OM aloud making me feel like my intention for today's practice was more defined, powerful and grounded.
Mon 12 - 10 min yoga meditation (AM)
Tues 13 - sick
Wed 14 - sick
Thu 15 - 30 min walk, yoga (AM)
Fri 16 - 60 min walk, yoga (AM)

WEEK 3
Sat 17 - rest day
Sun 18 - 2 hr yoga Shiny Yoga workshop (AM)
Mon 19 - yoga (AM), 60 min walk (PM)
Tue 20
Wed 21
Thu 22
Fri 23

WEEK 4
Sat 24 - 75 min samadhi yoga (AM), trapeze (PM)
Sun 25 - 75 min samadhi yoga (AM)
Mon 26 - yoga (AM), 60 min walk (PM)
Tue 27
Wed 28